Pretty wild change of pace for the NBA All-Star introductions as Common went to his bag for some … interesting … rhymes. Personally, I liked the rhymes but thought it was too much for an introduction part of the game but it seems like the internet liked it. To each his own. Anyway, here’s my ranking of each introduction, categorized by conference and reserves/starters.
Eastern Conference
Reserves
7) “Either way he’ll getchu” = Donovan Mitchell
This batch was tough, and this had to be the worst because it simply didn’t rhyme completely. There’s no “L” sound at the end. In another group it could have done better, but not here.
6) “Hard in the paint is his style” = Bam Adebayo
This is another clever one but it doesn’t really rhyme, especially because he said “style” as a two-syllable word to make it work. It just sneaks ahead of Mitchell though.
5) “They did it proudly” = Kyle Lowry
Same as Adebayo, doesn’t actually rhyme completely. And less creativity because “they did it proudly” is a very weird phrase to say, it’s just not natural.
4) “He’s an all-time distrupter” = Jimmy Butler
Now the rest of this group is great, so we have to get really picky. Butler has no “p” sound, so we have to knock it a bit, as it falls to #5.
3) “Representing the Bayou Kingdom” = Brandon Ingram
A great rhyme, but no “d” sound in Ingram. Still has great creativity with the context of “Bayou Kingdom” so I liked this one a little better
2) “He’ll get it done” – Kris Middleton
Very creative. He could easily take the easy out and just rhymed “ton” but was able to get the “middle” part in there in this phrase. Probably would’ve won in any other group, but this one had a great rhyme.
1) “Oh contraire-au fraire” = Rudy Gobert
A great rhyme. It’s hard to rhyme Gobert, but to do it with a French phrase is even better. It creates some uniqueness, and highlight’s his rhyming abilities as well. Probably a top 3 introduction.
Starters
5) “Big skills, yes indeed” = Joel Embiid
Not really personal to Joel, you could use that on any player that has a name rhyming with indeed. It also doesn’t quite rhyme so that’s an extra knock.
4) “He’s only just begun” = Trae Young
I mean it’s kinda personal to Trae because he’s a sophomore but begun and Young is a bit of a stretch. Given the other three, this had to be knocked down.
3) “He’s ready to rock em” = Pascal Siakam
“Rock em Siakam” is a phrase I’ll probably say often through the rest of the year. Very good. But given that the last two players are great rhymes by Common, this had to be 3rd.
2) “Handles the rock like Gibralter” = Kemba Walker
What an insane reference to the Rock of Gibraltar. Walker seemed like an easy one but Common took it to another level. This is my second favorite one, but you can’t top a rhyme over Antetekoumpo.
1) “Drive the lane with no refusal” = Antetekoumpo
Listen. If you asked me to rhyme this dude’s last name I would walk out the door in an instant. Credit to Common, this was by far the hardest one and he nailed it.
Western Conference
Reserves
7) “On the court he can kill it” = Dame Lillard
This hardly rhymes, and that’s putting it generously. Also he’s not even playing so I feel comfortable putting Dame at the end. Sorry not sorry.
6) “He’s a general with the ball” = Chris Paul
Are you kidding me? You couldn’t at least get “Chris” in there somehow? The biggest cop out of the night BY FAR. I expected better for my man.
5) “Outside he’s a pressure cooker” = Devin Booker
Another huge cop out tonight, plus Booker isn’t really an All-Star. Give me all the shade you want, it’s the truth.
4) “He’s always all about winnin” = Ben Simmons
A pretty big cop out as well, and also doesn’t quite work with the “s” part of Simmons.
3) “He’ll give you a dosage” = Nikola Jokic
This one just lost to Tatum because, while it’s pretty creative, it just doesn’t quite rhyme. When you get down to it, we have to consider the completeness of each rhyme and this one didn’t quite make it.
2) “You can’t overstate him” = Jayson Tatum
I enjoy when the first of a two-syllable word is used in a rhyme, and this is a good one. But Tatum isn’t the most challenging word to rhyme, so it didn’t quite win.
1) “He knew he’d be an All-Star from everything he’s shown us” = Domantas Sabonis
Incredible. Sabonis is a three-syllable word and a difficult one to rhyme, but he got each syllable in there. And it is personal to Sabonis, he HAS proven himself to be an All-Star.
Starters
5) “On the court he gives a clinic” = Kawhi Leonard
THE WORST ONE OF THE ENTIRE NIGHT. THESE TWO WORDS DO NOT RHYME AT ALL.
4) “One of the generation’s greatest” = Anthony Davis
Davis seems pretty easy to rhyme and they just didn’t do it. Plus this is a VERY generic phrase, you could use that on any one of these All-Stars.
3) “We continue to witness his reign” = Lebron James
Lebron will always have a knock in these type of rankings because James is really easy to rhyme. Unfortunately, that’s just the way it will always be. But kudos to 16 straight years in the ASG. That’s legit awesome.
2) “Breaks ankles with no pardon” = James Harden
Definitely a creative rhyme, and not one I wouldn’t have thought to use. It’s also got some personal component so that always gets a bump.
1) “Keeps the defense honest” = Doncic
Definitely the best of this bunch. Doncic is another really tough one, and that’s one of the few words that actually works. Kudos again.
Thank you for your time. Feel free to leave your opinions.